Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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