I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
