So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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