p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize