I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
