Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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