I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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