You're completely useless in the revolution.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
