YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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