One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
