sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
