They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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