Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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