normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
