Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
