sarcasm needs its own font
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
