i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
