It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
