I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
