If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
