If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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