apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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