You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
