wakey wakey hands off snakey
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
