i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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