everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
