And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
