Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
what is it with giant penises always finding me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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