I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
