What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
that is very illegal...i love you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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