I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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