Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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