He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
