put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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