i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So squirting runs in the family.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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