sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
