I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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