well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
