We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i think my cat just said my name.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
