I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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