Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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