Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
