OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
