Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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