Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
