Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
