we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
