there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
