He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
