I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
