im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
wow bdsm is so cute
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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